Monday, 7 February 2011

My idea for the story

A man gets up from the floor in a destroyed looking lab, he looks around and runs towards a corridor,  as he gets in the corridor he notices a CCTV room. He goes into the room and sees a video that says test 210 in the beauty parlour. He looks at it and sees himself in a lab surrounded by guards with B Hunter on their backs. He then see a scientist extracting some neon green substance from a genetically altered cactus plant. Then he sees himself being injected with the substance, then dragged away by the guards. The man then looks away from the monitor screen, as he turns he sees his reflection in one of the monitors that isn't on and sees himself covered with cactus looking boils. he then turns around and heads back to the door and becomes really angry and goes off in the corridor and disappears.


  1. Nice idea.
    I like the way your modifying a human through a cactus, you could bring out some very interesting imagery with this.
    Maybe to emphasize him mutating more he could, before seeing his reflection, reacted to a itch on his skin, only to prick himself be a unusual spine protruding from a underdeveloped spore appearing on his arm/back/face/somewhere he cant see? etc, and in confusion seeks out a reflection in a monitor, only to frighten himself through what he sees.

    Im getting from reading this, that he's being changed to then be used maybe to attract butterflies for the butterfly hunters to catch?? if not that could be a interesting concept to look at too.

    Food For Thought :)

  2. Hey Aidan - I think you need to consider how you're going to get all that information out to the audience; for example, the butterfly hunters ensnaring test subjects and then bringing them back into the lab - and the complexity of the experiment itself. However, I do like the idea that it's from a first person perspective (it has to be right, otherwise, the twist that the character has himself been modified won't work as a surprise). So, from the pov of the character - he wakes up (we're seeing out of his eyes, right) and slowly, as he understands what has happened, the audience learns what has happened. If so, you're going to have to find ways to get the info about the 'world' and its rules into his/our experience more.